How Did I Lose This

My dad bought a 35mm camera when I was in high school.  I loved getting to take pictures with it.  Of course this was when we used film and the camera did not have an automatic setting...at least not that I can remember.  But I loved getting to take pictures...until the camera died.  Apparently sand got into the mechanics of the camera and it would cost as much a buying a new one.  My dad retired the camera because at that season in his life he couldn't afford to get it fixed or buy a new one.

Skip a few years....ok...many years and I am getting ready to turn 40.  At some point before this momentous event I stumbled upon what I call...  The Pioneer Lady.  She's actually known as The Pioneer Woman but for some reason my brain forgets.  Anyways when I first found her she was just getting started in the blog world and her photo's brought back my dream of photography.  I remember telling my husband that one of my dreams would be to get a camera like hers [35 mm digital] one day and pursue photography.

Well my hubby, being the wonderful and kind man that he is, bought me one for my birthday.  He gave it to me a week or two before the actual day because we were leaving to go on vacation and he thought I'd enjoy using it.  He thought right.

So here it is almost 5 years later.  I still have the same camera and until a few weeks ago I still used the same battery charger for the camera.  But mysteriously the battery charger has disappeared.  And it is mysterious because I keep my camera bag with all the camera trappings in the same spot.  I charge my battery in the same spot.  And yet the charger has become lost.  My hubby talked about buying a new one but I knew that if we just looked hard enough we'd find it.

Nope...we still haven't found it.

The other day a friend called me up because her niece just passed her GED and she wanted to get some "senior" type pictures to celebrate this wonderful achievement.  I had to tell her that my camera is dead until I could find my charger.  Well, this friend insisted on paying for a new charger because she really wanted me to take the pictures.  [awwww...how sweet]

So, Chris goes in search of a charger.  How hard can it be.  Apparently in the big metroplex of Dallas it can be a pain.  Best Buy had one but they wanted over $200 for it...What?????  Guess it charges two batteries super quick.  I don't need mine charged super quick, but I do need them charged.  Thankfully he was able to find on online that was just like the one I had.  And hopefully it will be coming tomorrow since he had them ship it two day.

Yea!!!  I'm excited to get my camera back.  Can't tell ya how many times I've thought about grabbing the camera to take a picture only to remember it's dead.

And I know that when I get the new charger...I just might find the old one.

Love

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

 

Most of us read this and totally miss the love yourself part.  And yet it's a pretty vital part or key in our ability to love our neighbors.

And how many of us really love the Lord with ALL our heart and ALL our soul and ALL our mind?  Not many!

Because most of us were not raised with Godly love it's hard to receive and give that kind of love.  What is Godly love? 

The Bible says that God is LOVE!   God IS love!  So if God is love couldn't we reword the above to say....  You must love love with ALL your heart....

I am realizing how lacking I am in the love department.  Sure I love my husband and I love Jesus and I love my children and I love my friends....but what does that really mean?  What does that look like?  Where do I get my ideas of love?

Lately I have come to realize that I don't really love myself.  Not in the Godly way...but rather more like how most of us love ourselves...in the selfish way.

And if one does not read the Bible or believe in God, then how does one love?  Heck...most people don't even read the Bible much less practice what's in it.  So, if the majority of people don't read and practice what is in the Bible then how do we love and what do we determine that love is?

God is love!  God loves me!  So basic but do we really understand what it means?  I'm learning. 

 

That's the Book for Me!

Trying to write one's thoughts about revelation they receive is not always easy. Where do you start? I have so many thoughts fluttering around in my brain and heart but I decided before I go any further I need to explain something.

When I look back at my life I realize that religion has always been a part of it. When I was little I learned about Jesus and God and angels and the devil. There was this Children's Bible I remember thumbing through because I liked looking at the pictures, especially the picture of the flood. I was raised in the denomination of my parents and their parents and so on down the line.

However, when I reached my early 20's there was one event that stopped me in my tracks and totally changed my life. I became pregnant. I wasn't married. It was the darkest time in my life because of all the guilt and shame I felt. Especially since I had been such a "good girl" till then. Of course I know now I wasn't really all that good then but because my sin's were not noticeable I appeared the "good girl". Now that I was pregnant EVERYONE would know my sin. It was a dark...dark...dark time for me. I even contemplated abortion and suicide because I was so ashamed.

Once I determined I would continue with the pregnancy I then had to break it to my parents. Talk about hard. I was their only daughter. The apple of my father's eye [as my mother likes to call me] I was a good Catholic girl....well at least outwardly. I finally got the courage to call my parents and painfully shared with them my news. Their reaction was NOT what I expected. My mother was excited. And my father....I could tell he was disappointed but he told me that if Jesus could forgive him then he, my father, could do no less towards me. [Talk about humbling]

Because of this event I started going back to church. Seeking for something....at the time I didn't know what it was. My parents had left the Catholic church and were attending a non denominational church and my mother recommended a church for me to visit in the Dallas area. I was a bit hesitant but I was seeing changes in my parents, good changes, that I was willing to go and visit.

It was at this church that I came to realize what it was I was searching for....Jesus. I had the head knowledge of Jesus but was lacking the heart knowledge or maybe a better way of saying it is a relationship with Jesus. I went forward during one of the services with tears streaming down my face. I didn't care who saw or what they thought. All I knew is that I needed to get to that altar to receive Jesus.

This happened 24 years ago and it has been the BEST decision I've ever made. My life has never been the same and God literally came in a took a bad situation and turned it around for good. After giving birth to my daughter I moved to Little Rock to live with my parents at their request. When Jordana, my daughter, was 5 weeks old I went on a canoe trip with my brother...he was trying to get me out and about. On this canoe trip I saw this guy who happened to be with the church group [I had never met him] and I knew...knew...knew...that I was going to marry him. I bid my time and a couple years later we were married. Celebrated 20 years this year.

Yes, this is a bit long winded but I needed to explain somethings before I started sharing my thoughts because it's important for anyone reading this to know that my life has been forever changed because of Jesus...the relationship with Him....understanding Him...and seeing myself and others through Him. I've learned and am learning about Him through reading His Word...the Bible. So as I share my ponderings know they come as a result of the things I am understanding in God's Word...and applying to life.

There is a song I taught my children and am currently teaching the preschool children at church and it goes like this...

The B-I-B-L-E
Yes that's the Book for me
I stand alone
on the Word of God
The B-I-B-L-E.....BIBLE!!!!


Such a profound truth said very simply!

Walk Out Your Transformation

Tonight I started a conference call Bible study called "Walk Out Your Transformation". Only problem is that I was in transit and I could only listen in to the first 30 minutes. But the nice thing is that she records the calls and then I can go to the website and listen to them at my convenience. I'm not sure how I'll like the calling in part but it's good to try new things and with how spread out everyone is, it is convenient and saves on gas.

Here is a link if you'd like to check it out yourself http://www.bridgetodominion.org/

This is being hosted by an "old friend" and by old I don't mean age but rather the length of time we've known each other. Her name is Vickie and we met at least 12 years ago at the church we were attending. I actually attended her first class 6 years ago. And it's been about two years since we've last talked, but Vickie is the kind of friend where we just pick up where we left off. Sometimes life gets busy and seasons change but it's always good when God brings us back together again. And it's even more interesting to find that once again we are going through similar trials and God is purifying us with His fire. I recently had Vickie come and talk at my current church and it's exciting to see others gain the understandings that I too am gaining. I look forward to seeing what God does through this class.

My new"life" Scripture is...Joh 8:31-32 So Jesus said to those who believed in him, "If you obey my teaching, you are really my disciples; you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

I've never realized the freedom I have in His Truth until recently. There is something beautiful and empowering in understanding the freedom we have in Christ...the truth I am understanding is freeing me up to truly love others...to have grace and mercy...to see past the outward and minister to the inward. Sure, I was able to do some of that before but it always seemed like there was something holding me back from being able to do it with my whole heart. I've been learning what that "something" is and what I need to do to break through it. It's quite simple, yet I've never really understood it till recently. Yeah, I'd get bits and pieces of understanding but lately it's like a flood gate has opened and all the dots are getting connected.

It's these understandings I hope to blog about because there is something powerful in being able to communicate the things we learn. Plus it helps to solidify it in us too. Being able to tell others is one of the best ways to "test" what we know.

Slowly but Surely

God is doing some major heart changing in my life right now and I need to reflect that in this blog. Of course it would help if I actually would write but that is coming. For most of this last year the focus of this blog was my journey to losing weight.

Well, I am still on that journey. However, I want this blog to reflect more than that now. The season was wonderful where I finally focused on the weight issue I had but life is more than what we weigh and honestly blogging about just that aspect of my life was losing it's "thrill". Not because I am not still losing weight, I am...but I don't want that to be the only focus of this blog.

My life is being transformed! Literally! And I want to start sharing that journey...the total transformation being made in my life above and beyond the weight loss.

I am officially freeing myself from only blogging on one aspect of my life. I am now journeying into the realm of being able to blog about ALL aspects of my life.

Now if I can just figure out which layout I like. Don't be surprised to see different ones in the next week as I am still trying out some new looks.

A New Season

I have officially entered into a new season in regards to my quest to lose weight.

This last month there has been a shift of focus in my life. I reconnected with a friend and she informed me of some classes that are available on Saturday mornings from 10:30 - 12:30. These classes are for understanding how the spiritual aspects of our life affect the physical things in our bodies. The classes have been informative and freeing!!! Many times we don't recognize the lies we've come into agreement with but once we do...whoo-hoo...the truth will set you free.

Anyways, between this class and one of my daughters getting braces I've been praying about continuing with WW. The drive and the cost were taken into consideration...and prayed about. I didn't want to make a decision based on fear. Fear that I couldn't afford the class...or fear that if I quit attending I'd gain it all back.

Last Wed. I took my ipod and went out for a walk. Specifically to seek the Lord and pray. I felt total peace over the decision to cancel my membership. Which in a way is surprising because I thought I'd stay with WW until eternity. But if there is one thing I am learning as I seek to follow the Lord...the seasons change and the only thing that is a for sure thing is Him.

I am excited for this next season in my life. I will continue to blog and share but I hope to share about this weight loss endeavor from more of a biblical perspective. It's time.